Seasoned Tongue

Col 4:5-6

5 Walk in wisdom toward outsiders, making the best use of the time. 6 Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.

• Do prefer your food salted or unsalted? Why?
  
• What does it mean to be act wisely toward non-Christians?
  
• Which do you act more wisely toward: Christians or non-Christians? Why?
  
• What is Paul talking about when he states: make the best use of the time?
  
• What is your opinion of how your speech tastes?
  
• Would others consider your speech enjoyable, bitter, too salty, etc?
  
• What is required for your speech to be pleasing?
• How do you answer each person?
  

The Hardest Verse

Col 3:17

17 And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

• What does it mean to do something in the name of another person?
  
• How much of your conversation each day would be Christ-approved?
  
• How many of your actions each day would Christ authorize?
  
• How frequently each day do you consider what Christ would want you to do?
  
• Why should you feel thankful that your words and deeds can be authorized by Christ?

Harold's Musings:
Without a doubt, this is the hardest verse in the Bible for me. The scope it addresses feels overwhelming. I have this huge range of feelings when I consider the prospect of watching every word and every action to see if Christ would do it or at least approve of it. Yes, I know I have the grace of God when I mess up, but the focus of this passage is on getting permission instead of forgiveness. I am used to running on auto-pilot for the bulk of my day. To slow down and consider if my next action is bad, good, or best is unsettling. How will I get anything done? To put my brain in gear before starting my mouth so that my words are acceptable to Christ is unsettling. Will those words tear down or build up? Are they complaints, gossip, or anger? Would Christ say what I am preparing to say in the way I am wanting to say it? Hard, hard, hard verse for old Harold. Hope it is easier for you. In His Name....

Guidelines for Christian life

1 Pe 3:8-12

8 Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. 9 Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing. 10 For

“Whoever desires to love life
and see good days,
let him keep his tongue from evil
and his lips from speaking deceit;
11 let him turn away from evil and do good;
let him seek peace and pursue it.
12 For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous,
and his ears are open to their prayer.
But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”

• What does it mean to have "unity of mind"? How often are you concerned about your mind being united with other Christians?
  
• What does it mean to have "sympathy"? How much sympathy do you have?
  
• What does it mean to have "brotherly love"? How much brotherly do you have?
  
• What does it mean to have a "tender heart"? How tender hearted are you?
  
• What does it mean to have a "humble mind"? How humble in mind are you?
  
• For what purpose were you called? What will you get?
• Why would God want you to not return evil and/or insult others?
  
• How often do you bless those who annoy or even persecute you?
  
• Which is more important to you: getting back at someone or having God on your side?
  
• What does knowing the face of the Lord is against evildoers help?
  
• How does your righteousness influence your prayers?

Be Careful What You Say

Eccles. 10:20

20 Even in your thoughts, do not curse the king,
nor in your bedroom curse the rich,
for a bird of the air will carry your voice,
or some winged creature tell the matter.

• When have you said something bad about someone in secret/behind their back?
  
• When have you done this and they found out about it?
  
• How careful should you be in what you say about others?
  
• What is the warning here?
  
• Why does Solomon make the point using kings and rich men?
  
• Who can you say something bad about? [Consider Eph. 4:29]

Harold's Musings:
Now old Solomon has gotten to meddling. Haven't we all had a moment (or more than one) where we have said something about someone else and regretted it as soon as it left our lips? The hint for not doing that is given in this passage. "Don't even think about it." So often we think the hurtful words, the condemning judgments, the harsh criticisms. We may have no intention of ever saying them, but they are bullets in the loaded gun we call our mouth. Boy, have I got some work to do!

Words from the fool

Eccles. 10:12

12 The words of a wise man's mouth win him favor, [1]
but the lips of a fool consume him.
13 The beginning of the words of his mouth is foolishness,
and the end of his talk is evil madness.
14 A fool multiplies words,
though no man knows what is to be,
and who can tell him what will be after him?
15 The toil of a fool wearies him,
for he does not know the way to the city.
Footnotes
[1] 10:12 Or are gracious

• Why would a wise person normally say gracious or charming words?
  
• Why does a wise person's words bring favor?
  
• How is "sweet-talking" different from gracious or desirable words?
  
• Who have you known who was wise in word? Why do consider them so?
  
• How do a fool's words show his/her foolishness?
  
• How might a fool's words consume him/her?
  
• What is the path that a fool's talk takes?
  
• Even with all the problems his/her talk has brought, what does a fool do?
  
• How does a fool multiply words?
  
• Why is excessive talking dangerous?
  
• Why does talking about something that bothers you sometimes do more harm than good?
  
• Who have you known who was foolish in words? Why do you consider them so?
  
• How does a fool's talk relate to future events?
  
• How are wise plans different from foolish predictions and assurances?
  
• Why is a fool's toil so tiring?
  
• How would you consider your words: wise or foolish?
  
• Would those around you each day agree with you?
  

Foolishness is obvious

Eccles. 10:1-4

10:1 Dead flies make the perfumer's ointment give off a stench;
so a little folly outweighs wisdom and honor.
2 A wise man's heart inclines him to the right,
but a fool's heart to the left.
3 Even when the fool walks on the road, he lacks sense,
and he says to everyone that he is a fool.
4 If the anger of the ruler rises against you, do not leave your place,
for calmness [1] will lay great offenses to rest.

Footnotes[1] 10:4 Hebrew healing

• What illustration would you use to communicate the impact of foolishness?
  
• Why does it seem that foolishness and evil outweigh wisdom, honor, and righteousness?
  
• How does a person's heart demonstrate their wisdom or foolishness?
  
• What did Jesus say about the relationship between the heart and actions?
  
• How does a fool demonstrate his/her foolishness in their daily walk?
  
• Why might society not recognize a fool for what s/he is?
  
• Why did Solomon seemingly jump from talking about fools to talking about rulers?
  
• What would a fool do if a ruler rose against him/her?
  
• How much composure do you have when someone in authority gets upset with you?
  
• In your opinion, are you a wise person or a fool?
  
• What areas of your life are evidence of your wisdom?
  
• What areas of your life are evidence of your foolishness?
  

Careful in God's Presence

Eccles. 5:1-3

5:1 Guard your steps when you go to the house of God. To draw near to listen is better than to offer the sacrifice of fools, for they do not know that they are doing evil. 2 Be not rash with your mouth, nor let your heart be hasty to utter a word before God, for God is in heaven and you are on earth. Therefore let your words be few. 3 For a dream comes with much business, and a fool's voice with many words.

• Why would Solomon caution his readers about how they went to the house/temple of God?
  - As a Christian you are a "brick" in the house of God. How might this passage speak to you?
  
• What was the recommended goal of going near the house of God?
  - How often do you go to God in prayer to tell Him something rather than to hear from Him?
  
• What might have been the sacrifice of fools?
  - Why is ignorance not always an excuse?
  
• How does v. 2 conflict with today's approach to prayer?
  - Is it wrong to lay every detail of life before God? Why or why not?
  - How might praying about life's details keep you from praying about more important things?
  - How might praying about life's details keep you from hearing God speak through his Word?
  - How might praying about life's details keep you aware of God's presence throughout the day?
  
• Eccles. 5:1-7, as a unit, address making vows before God. How often have you made a hasty, impulsive promise to God?
  - How often have you expected God to provide the effort for the promise you made to Him?
• In general, are you a person of many words or many actions?
  - Does this extend to your relationship with God?

Harold's Musings:
Realizing that I am a temple of God is one of the most important things I frequently forget. We like the tangible so we find it hard to recognize God's presence in our life. We want to feel something that says that God is there. We want to put the responsibility of knowing God's presence on God. We are often like the friend that complains that we do not call enough; yet they seldom make the call either. One attempt to know God's presence is to pray often throughout the day, which is great. How often do we actively listen for God? How often during our busy lives do we take the initiative to find where God is in our life? Like I said, I frequently forget the most important things.

Don't Swear

James 5:12

12 But above all, my brothers, do not swear, either by heaven or by earth or by any other oath, but let your “yes” be yes and your “no” be no, so that you may not fall under condemnation.

• Why does James consider this command to be above all the others that he has stated?
  
• How does this command impact "swearing in a witness", "swearing into an office", etc.?
  
• How does this command impact "taking the oath of office"?
  
• In what way does swearing or taking an oath put you at risk of judgement?
  
• Why has this little admonition been seemingly ignored in the recent past?

Harold's Musings:
Interesting little verse tucked in among the "big" topics. Very similar to Jesus' teaching on the mountain (Matt. 5:33-36). James puts the essence of Jesus' teaching between "above all" and "condemnation". It seems that James considered swearing something to be extremely risky. Swearing or taking an oath connects your well being with the anchor of the oath. Breaking your oath carried a cost. Here the cost seems to be condemnation. The only one who can condemn is God; thus it seems that God considers oaths and swearing something special as well. While we are seldom "sworn" into office, we probably promise stuff all the time. From my perspective a promise is very much the same as an oath. "Cross my heart and hope to die" is a common swearing/oath that kids say. What do you think? Are promises and oaths the same? Should we be cautioning our children about their oaths?

Judging One Another

James 4:11-12

11 Do not speak evil [1] against one another, brothers. The one who speaks against a brother or judges his brother, speaks evil against the law and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge. 12 There is only one lawgiver and judge, he who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor?

Footnotes
[1] 4:11 NAS: speak against one another; NIV: slander one another; NKJ: speak evil of one another

• In light of the previous warnings about the tongue, what sort of fires are started by speaking against a brother?
  
• What does a judge do?
  
• How do you pass judgment against others?
  
• Why would slandering or judging a brother be considered speaking or judging God's word?
  
• What is said about the one who judges God's law/word?
  
• When are you most tempted to speak evil of others? (Consider circumstances, feelings, physical condition, etc.)
  
• Who do are you most tempted to speak against and why?

Harold's Musings:
I've blogged about this passage before. I want to look at it today in its bigger context. So far in this letter, we've seen that partiality is wrong. Isn't common for us to overlook a fault in a friend but speak against another for doing it? Sounds like partiality. He talked about only looking at God's Word and not doing what God wants. James has addressed the good old tongue, which is the match that we use to burn others with our words when we speak against them. Quarreling commonly is just me judging you and eventually speaking against you. It comes down to this: we believe that we are the correct judge of people in oh so many ways. Even if we do not say a word, but in our hearts we judge them we are telling God that His word is inadequate, that your new rule should be added to his, and that He should deal with the situation now. Boy, are we ugly when we do that?!? May God have more mercy on us than we do on others.

Beast Taming

James 3:7-12

7 For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind, 8 but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. 9 With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. 10 From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so. 11 Does a spring pour forth from the same opening both fresh and salt water? 12 Can a fig tree, my brothers, bear olives, or a grapevine produce figs? Neither can a salt pond yield fresh water.

• Why would James state that no one can tame the tongue?
  
• Why are you more likely to say bad things about your fellow man than about God?
  
• When are you more likely to lash out, put down, or otherwise say bad about others?
  
• What prompts your tongue to get out of control?
  
• What is the real source of "tongue" problems?
  
• How does focusing on the outside problem (tongue) keep us from dealing with the inside problem (self-oriented, self-protection)?

Harold's Musings:
It is tempting to spend our energy on controlling our tongue without addressing the source of the fire that your tongue can produce. Jesus said in Matthew 15:18-20 that what was in the heart determined what came from the mouth. So we are back to our self-serving, self-reliant, easily tempted self. Should you think before you speak? Absolutely! Should you look deep inside (or maybe not so deep in some cases) and find the unloving, unbelieving attitudes that generated the desire to say something beastly? Absolutely! I think I need to go look down my mouth using a mirror.

Tongue the Terrible

James 3:1-6

3:1 Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness. 2 For we all stumble in many ways. And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body. 3 If we put bits into the mouths of horses so that they obey us, we guide their whole bodies as well. 4 Look at the ships also: though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. 5 So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! 6 And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell.

• Why did James jump immediately from being a teacher to controlling the tongue?
  
• How does this discourse on the tongue relate to the previous passage on claiming to have faith?
  
• In what areas do you have to struggle with your tongue?
  
• Why is the tongue so difficult to control?
  
• When has your tongue been like the fire in verse 6?
• When have you made disparaging remarks about someone because of their life situation?
  

Harold's Musings:
Yeah, I know I covered this before, but it is the next passage in line and, hey, it is an important issue to discuss. When I look at this passage in its context, something pops out. Earlier James talked about partiality and how we treat others. He then went to faith and works with an example of the needs of the poor not being met by words alone. Now he looks at teachers and tongue. Could he be considering the teacher who proclaims their faith and understanding of scripture but doesn't show it by action? Could it be that a teacher, who has a position of influence, is making remarks that show partiality and thereby teaches partiality? I've heard preachers and teachers make "humorous" remarks about groups of people. Doesn't that say to their audience that it is OK to think poorly of that group? What are you going to teach with your actions and tongue today? Partiality or God's love?

What is your religion?

James 1:26-27

26 If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person's religion is worthless. 27 Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.

• When is your tongue like a bucking bronco?
• Why is controlling your tongue so important?
• Why is it easy to be deceived about being religious?
• What is your first thought when you hear "religion"?
• What is God's definition of "religion"?
• How religious are you?

Harold's Musings:
I've been trying to figure out what a bridled tongue would be defined as in my life. Is it limited to not gossiping, slandering, complaining, lying or swearing? Does it include saying that I will do something and not get around to doing it? Can it include typed words that suggests that I have it together and am righteous? Is it not talking religion, Bible, church, and judging others when I should be doing? Perhaps many of us like the comfort of limiting our Christianity to the few hours a week in a church building instead of dealing with the hurting people around us. How true is your religion?

Words and Holy Spirit

Ephesians 4:29-31

29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.

• How might your talk corrupt someone?
• How might your talk build someone up?
• What do you do to determine what is best said for the occasion?
• When have you known that your words gave grace to someone?
• Why would the Holy Spirit grieve regarding your words?

Harold's Musings:
I think I was raised with the view that corrupting someone dealt with drugs, sex, and illegal activities. While those things are obviously not excluded, the context here seems to address something deeper and less obvious. Bitter angry words corrupt relationships. Slander corrupts how people view the object of slander. If you as a Christian exhibit careless speech, it is an example to others. The most troubling part of this passage is that the Holy Spirit can be grieved by our words. He is in the fellow Christian you just slandered. He heard the corrupting words hit like bullets. He likely feels the hurt, anger, and resentment the words produced. All because you and I are careless, shooting from the lip. It is much easier to speak without thinking that to consider what should be said to build up the other person. Watch those lips out there today. Aim carefully. The Holy Spirit could get hurt.

Wise Words About Words

Proverbs 15:1-2, 4, 7, 18 ,23, 26, 28

15:1 A soft answer turns away wrath,
but a harsh word stirs up anger.
2 The tongue of the wise commends knowledge,
but the mouths of fools pour out folly.
4 A gentle tongue is a tree of life,
but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.
7 The lips of the wise spread knowledge;
not so the hearts of fools.
18 A hot-tempered man stirs up strife,
but he who is slow to anger quiets contention.
23 To make an apt answer is a joy to a man,
and a word in season, how good it is!
26 The thoughts of the wicked are an abomination to the Lord,
but gracious words are pure.
28 The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer,
but the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things.

• What is the connection between the mouth and the heart?
• What impact does the tongue play in relationships?
• How is the tongue a factor in anger management?

Harold's Musings:
The wisest of men spoke a number of things about the tongue. This is from just one chapter. These are so clear that I don't a lot to say, except to point out again the connection between heart and mouth. God knows that our mouth will reflect the contents of our heart. It may be worthwhile to inspect our words to measure the purity of our hearts.

Healing Rash

Proverbs 12:18

18There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.

• How can words be like sword thrusts?
• What is the difference between rash words and wise words?
• What does it take to speak healing words?
• Which is more common from you: stabs or healing?

Harold's Musings:
WayneW commented yesterday about "sharpening the tongue". Such a powerful image, especially in light of this passage. The purpose of a sharp tongue is seldom (if ever) to heal. I was reading last night some things to not say when helping people who are in a crisis. Some are things that would never think to be a problem. It takes time and wisdom to select and apply healing words. I suspect that we spend more time thinking about slashing each other than we do about binding each others wounds. Rash word thrusts are generally defensive, motivated by a desire to protect our self. Healing words are about the other person, an act of selflessness. So what are you planning to carry today: a word sword or a word first-aid kit.?

Taming the untamable

James 3:1-12

3:1 Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness. 2 For we all stumble in many ways. And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body. 3 If we put bits into the mouths of horses so that they obey us, we guide their whole bodies as well. 4 Look at the ships also: though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. 5 So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! 6 And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell. 7 For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind, 8 but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. 9 With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. 10 From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so. 11 Does a spring pour forth from the same opening both fresh and salt water? 12 Can a fig tree, my brothers, bear olives, or a grapevine produce figs? Neither can a salt pond yield fresh water.

• How is the tongue like a fire?
• How does the tongue stain the whole body?
• How is the tongue a restless evil?
• What is the core problem behind tongue trouble?
• What kind of fruit does your tongue usually produce?
• Why is it risky to be a teacher, one who claims to know what is right?

Harold's Musings:
Every time I read this passage I think about not teaching any more. I really do try to make sure what I say in a class (or with a keyboard) is true, as far as I understand today. But I can still remember things that I taught with full sincerity that I would not teach today. Scary. And then there is just everyday talk... Talk about scary. How many fires have I started? An angry word here. A misunderstood joke there. An uttered momentary frustration. Our speech does seem to be disconnected from our reason on so many occasions. As God said, "Who can tame the tongue?" Do your best to bridle that tongue today. Produce good fruit with that mouth, not burning cinders. Peace out.

Salty speech

Mark 9:49-50

49 For everyone will be salted with fire. 50 Salt is good, but if the salt has lost its saltiness, how will you make it salty again? Have salt in yourselves, and be at peace with one another.”
Colossians 4:6

6 Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.

• What is salt valuable for?
• How does salt lose its saltiness?
• What does it mean to have salt in you?
• How does salt relate to peace with each other?
• What does gracious, seasoned speech sound like?
  

Harold's Musings:
Salt-free potato chips, blah! Scrambled eggs without salt, blah! Some foods are just unpalatable to me without salt. Have I forced down the above mentioned foods? Yes, but I did not enjoy them. On the other hand, we were at a fast-food restaurant and the cheeseburgers we were served were so salty that we could not eat them. The amount of salt used determines how good the food tastes. So it is with what we say. We are not called to be bland and unpalatable. Nor are we called to be as salty as the Dead Sea. Our words should bring peace not arguments. Our words should bring salvation, but carefully and graciously seasoned. Listen today and see how your speech tastes to others.